Kalungkutan

Loneliness is a feeling that doesn't always come to visit.

It's like my mind has a defense mechanism against it. I like to call it self-preservation. Others would probably call it denial. Either way, I guess I'm better off. Although, I do believe every feeling has a purpose. Just like pain teaches us to keep our hand away from an open flame or joy shows us how to embrace the ones we love. Loneliness is a reminder that something is missing. Remember it says. Remember. I guess that's why people say that it's a nagging feeling.

Tonight there is that familiar longing in my chest. That uneasy sense that makes me keep looking over my shoulder. Looking for what, I don't know. And then I remember. I almost welcome it in like an old friend. Gone much too long to be good. Because the loneliness pours over me like warm water melting away my defenses. And maybe, just maybe I'll go out once more and find what's missing.